Im still figuring it out, and that’s okay

Im still figuring it out, and that’s okay.

For the girl who is trying her best, even when she doesn’t have it all figured out.

Lately, Ive been thinking a lot about life. about where I am, where I thought I would be, and all of the ways that life had changed from how I imagined it would be.

When we are younger, we picture our lives a certain way. We think that one day we will wake up, and everything will make sense. We’ll know who we are, what we want, and exactly where we are going. Looking back, I imagined it would just snap together and I would have all of the answers.

But what happened when we grow up and realize that it doesn’t actually work that way? That we are in fact all just figuring it out as we go?

What do you do when you’re still learning, still growing, still changing your mind, and yet still struggling to find what makes you happy?

Well, I’m starting to believe that maybe that’s the whole point.

The pressure to have it all figured out

Sometimes, I feel like there is this invisible timeline that we are all expected to follow.

By a certain age, we are expected to have a successful career, a beautiful home, a loving relationship, financial security, and a clear vision for our future. We are supposed to be confident in every decision that we make.

And if we don’t? Its easy to feel like we are falling behind.

I remember in high school, sitting in class one day and the teacher asked us all what we wanted to be after high school and what collages we applied for and I remember how crazy it was to expect a class full of 17-18 year olds, who aren’t even allowed a glass of wine, to know how they will be spending the rest of their lives. But the fact is, 98% of the kids in my class had a plan for the next 20 years of their lives, and I sat there wondering what I was missing.

I have had 1,000 different career ideas in my 23 years on this earth. I have had 4 full-time jobs ranging from veterinary medicine, to oral surgical technician, to sales manager of an apartment complex. I have started 2 small businesses that did not succeed the way I wanted them to, and now a blog.

I look at the lives of others, the ones who chose a pathway and followed it, and I wonder where I would be if I had gone that rout.

It’s easy to look at the beautiful parts of everyone else’s lives. Their accomplishments, their adventures, and their happy moments. We compare our messy middle to someone’s highlight reel and suddenly, were questioning everything about ourselves.

Did I make the right choice? What would my life look like if…?

I’ve come to realize that comparing my life to someone else’s, looking back and questioning every little choice I made, really just steels all of the fun from the life that I’m living.

The truth is, we are all figuring out our lives as we go. All of us have unique lives with unique lessons and experiences. Some people find their direction early, and others take a scenic route. And then there are some who know exactly what they want until life changes their plans completely.

And none of that means we’re failing.

Maybe we are not behind. Maybe we’re just living a life that doesn’t follow a perfectly timed script.

Learning to give myself grace

I have a memory from when I was a child of my mom telling me “parents are people too”, and that stuck with me because as a child, you think grown-ups are a different breed entirely. But the more I grow, the more I realize that grown-ups are not special. They are just people too.

I have always been especially hard on myself and pushed myself to do more, be better, and to not fail. But the truth is? I fail.

And what does that say about me? Does that mean I can’t succeed?

I think that we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to fit into shoes that maybe, might not be our size.

I think that one of the most important things that I am learning is that I am allowed to be a work in progress. I am still worthy of love, happiness, success, and beautiful things. I am allowed to have big dreams and still appreciate where I am at in this moment. I am allowed to want more from my future without diminishing the present that I am in.

And most importantly, I am allowed to change.

I can outgrow old versions of myself. I can discover new interests, develop new priorities, and even change my favorite color! I am allowed to decide that something I wanted yesterday, might not I need today.

I don’t have to stay the same to still be who I am.

There is something comforting about recognizing that this life doesn’t need to be perfectly scripted. Your life is allowed to be messy and imperfect because it is yours. No one else is in control of your happiness or your success. Celebrate your small victories, and allow yourself to find peace in the life you have, even while you reach for more.

Creating a life that feels like mine

I think one of the most beautiful parts of growing up is deciding what a good life looks like for you. Its not what your friends chose, or maybe not what your parents wanted, but its the life that you choose to make for yourself.

Maybe a beautiful life looks like homesteading with your family, or a more career focused life. Maybe it’s slow mornings and fresh homemade bread, or maybe its on-the go coffees that feel like a treat to yourself.

And maybe, the idea of a beautiful life that you have, changes as you grow.

I once thought my life looked like homesteading in a small town in Georgia. I did all of the things, but when I grew as a person, that image of a beautiful life I had grew too. Now I am living in Colombia and experiencing an entire world entirely while growing something of my own.

My world is changing constantly, as am I. I am building my life as I go. Slowly, I gain new knowledge and experiences that shape who I am. Each day, I am taking a small step into figuring it out.

Not every goal has to be achieved overnight and not every plan has to succeed the first time. With time, things fall into place. The important thing is that you keep trying.

So give yourself some grace in this period of growing and learning. Even if you don’t have it all figured out right now, even if you feel like you’re not on schedule, remember that your life is worth appreciating.

Thank you for reading

If you’ve made it this far, I’m so happy you’re here.

I created this space as a place to share pieces of my life, my hardships, the things I’m learning, and the dreams I am chasing. This is a place for honest conversations, personal reflections, and the simple things that make life what it is.

You’ll find a little of everything here, life, love, growth, creativity, cooking, and whatever else happens along the way.

I don’t have a perfect life to show you, and I definitely don’t have all the answers. But I do have stories to tell, and experiences to share.

I would love to continue sharing with you. So pull up a chair, grab a hot coffee, and read along through Life in Emy’s Kitchen because there is something for everyone in Emy’s Kitchen.

With love,

Emy